Tea for Two

“I don’t get it?! She up in left.” Marty’s hand shakes the phone. “We just got here. i took her to Reading the Tea Leaves, just like you said. Seriously, Darla what kind of freak did you set me up with?”

The phone starts quiet for too long.  

“Ok, she loves the place.  What else happened? She goes there every week. What did you say?  or do?” Darla half asks 

“We ordered and say down.   I put down the little table flag with 19 on it….” Marty doesn’t get to finish.

“Nonadecaphobia. I should have told you. Sorry, she doesn’t do well with signs.   You know how it is.” Darla explains. 

“No. No, I don’t.” Marty hangs up

You’ll Fry

“You’ll fry!” Burger shrilly screams. 

The crowd jeers.  Frantic spectators mix anxiety and anticipation.  

Sizzles and pops fill the air as the burning starts.  Trapped in a basket as the world goes black. 

These are the final moments of a French fry 
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fry/”>Fry</a&gt;

Spam 

My favorite 

How you misspell you(ouu) 

I marvel that my depth 

Subjects the world needs 

I pine to fulfill your quest  

knowledge and 

Through that blue 

The world is ours to save

I defy anyone seeing different 

You bring madness to 

Those who don’t want 

To have more followers 

To be drowned in 

If not but to use your help 

My heart skips at the thought 

Imagine the possibilities….

Unicorn- Three Line Tales 

“Ma’am, we have a report someone is charging to see a dog with horn.” Patrolman Jackson dryly explains.
“I don’t know what you are taking about?” Jenny scratches her head at the thought of where her Great Dane and son are.

“That sign is what I’m taking about,  Ma’am” He replies. 

Written as part of a challenge called Three Line Tales, details are available at https://only100words.xyz/2017/03/02/three-line-tales-week-57/

#3linetales 

FFAW- Calf Training

“Bessie has been here for three weeks. She can read quite get passed the Roadside test. Any ideas?” Cory pulls down the bill of his ball cap.  His gaze locked on his baby that won’t leave. 

“Ok.  We get the tractor over here.  I’ll put some straw on the front of it.  I’ll go really close so she sees the straw.  And she will follow me with her head.” Craig gets all bright eyed.  His hands take flight as he shows the tractor and the cow moving.

“That’s the stupidest idea ever…..” Cory snaps his head sideways toward his friend. “But everything else failed.”

Cory stands cross armed watching. An old tractor grumbles.  Bessie looks at the noise.  As it gets closer, she moves toward the fence.  The tractor stats about 12 feet away.   Bessie turns her head to watch it go by.

“Go back and do that again! You got her to do it.”  Cory yells at Craig.

Craig takes a big swing around.  Her head follows.  Her drives by again.

Bessie has learned to watch traffic.

Written as part of a challenge called Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers for details, https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/02/27/fffaw-challenge-week-of-february-28-2017/

What If Your Site Has Someone Else Using It?

Stolen from AZ quotes as stated on the quote itself

I’m watching TV, an ad flashes “Color Outside the Lines” and go some place…  I was caught off guard.  I mean, hello I’m using that people.  So like ever self respecting person who runs a blog….there’s got to be a few of us.  I did a google search!

The horror!   Really others have thought of this idea.  Hell worldpress.com has a quilter using the same title as mine.  Really!  Quilting!  Grandma quilted.  She had a sewing machine, saw horses, lots and lots of thread and that puffy stuff that gets trapped between the quilted pieces.  Don’t get me wrong, I like quilts.  But really, how the hell do I deal with someone coming here looking for quilting advice….. Ok, her blog is a little different looking…. But let’s get to the problem.  We are here to be unique in the way we steal others ideas and make them… better. Yeah, we make them better. But still out there is another person that thinks they are just as unique.  

Despondent, I made it to page two.. I mean how many pages later could I show up?  Apparently, good old Albert (seen above even gets list before me, and it’s not the same phrase! Thanks Google😒).  After four pages, I decided give Google the extra traffic wasn’t worth the effort.  So after two more pages, I realized I never found the ad.  

Which brings me back to the important part.  We don’t quilt here.  (I did embroidery once).  I’m willing to stay after from the puffy stuff, but how do you approach someone using your   and say stay the hell away from fiction and poetry!  Read my early stuff, there are bodies buried everywhere.  Hell some bodies never got buried at all.  Not that I would advocate violence… Hmmm, not without a good twist or two.  

So stop reading and search your title out people!  There could be a beer can collector blog using your ideas!  A fourteenth century wood collector using your witches to make his blog interesting. (They threw witches in the water, guilt ones floated, innocent were accepted by the pure water). Really imagine your site hawking doll clothing!  Miniature horses could be ruining your stream people.  I thought I was safe once….

Ok, I need to search on the iPad now.  Dear God, please don’t let a doll house enthusiast have a site titled “Coloring Outline the Lines”

Optimistic News… Alternate facts

The cockroaches are happy about the new administration…

<a href=”http://www.theonion.com/article/cockroaches-feeling-very-optimistic-about-future-p-55154?utm_content=Main&amp;utm_campaign=SF&amp;utm_source=Twitter&amp;utm_medium=SocialMarketing”>http://www.theonion.com/article/cockroaches-feeling-very-optimistic-about-future-p-55154?utm_content=Main&amp;utm_campaign=SF&amp;utm_source=Twitter&amp;utm_medium=SocialMarketing</a&gt;

What’s in the Bag

“I want to sit under the dragon lamp!” Josie coos and grabs David’s right arm. She quickly releases and shoots ahead.

“Be right there!” David watches her go.  Eyes fixed on her as she glides.

Josie slides across the red leather booth.  Rocking to a stop. “I’m thinking Wor Su Gia! Oh, some of those shrimp chips… and..”

“You know I’m getting Pepper Steak..” David’s voice falters.  A note falls from the menu. 

Brown bag in trash of Restroom.  Get rid of it IMMEDIATELY 

“How come I don’t get a secret message?” Her voice seems really loud.
“Honey, it’s a joke.  Can’t be real.” David is really nervous. What kind of person leaves this kind of note. 

He swallows hard.  Murders, killers, bank robbers.. Yes, bank robbers leave notes.  His heart races.  Thousands of dollars in  a bag, just wanting…

David gets up quickly.  “I’ll be right back”

Elisa sits at the cash register.  He watches him run.   “Mom, I got another one!”