Daisy May 

Virgil slowly lifts his head of the bed.   His tiny bedroom shrinks with grandchildren wedged in too. His breath whistles as hev looks over the lot from 6 to 24 in age.   His eyes barely make out the faces. They search for something else. 

“I need to see Daisy May.  Damn it!  Can’t one of ya doing something but watch me die…”  His head goes back down and his blank eyes close. 

“Mama? Grandma’s name wasn’t Daisy May.. Who’s talking about?”  Susie the littlest one turns her does eyes to a frazzled forty something. 

“That’s his damn old truck.   He spent more time with it than all us kids put together.” Lana dots her eyes with tissue.  Her left hand rubs Susie’s head. “He’s just mean in someways.  Old people get that way.  They hurt.”

” Damn it Lana! I bought her with a dollar an hour wages.  Drive her so you kids….” Virgil flops up like a horror movie prop. His breathing changes to a ballon losing air.  “Just want… to see her… once..mo”

“Open the drawer.   Let him look at his old truck again…..  It’s right there in night stand.”  Lana darts her finger in the direction. 

The eyes never open again. 
Written as part of a challenge called Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers for details, https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/02/06/fffaw-challenge-week-of-february-7-2017/

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36 thoughts on “Daisy May 

    1. It’s a strained relationship. I don’t see him as vengeful to haunt her in the truck. The feelings have already haunted her for a long time. I really like when dialogue can carry everything well. I was really locked in once it started. Thank you for the kind words

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I wasn’t really thinking haunt in a vengeful way – but the truck was something he was so attached to – an earthly possession he would come back to and finish his sentence – loved your dialogue style immensely – now if I can do something like that! thank you for your thoughts.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. i prefer to write just a narrative and find it hard to give each individual their own voice -they all end up sounding like me!! But I am trying, baby steps. Maybe I can handle like 2 people in a story – that’s about it at this stage. I think i do try too hard – that’s a good tip – fall into it!

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  1. If I was to talk about another woman I would chose my dying bed as well 😀 Its sad that his kids felt that he spent too much time with his truck but they are there at his death bed which is pretty neat. You found a nut here 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now there’s a thought.. Another women on the last breath, how that leaves thing in a different direction. You can’t explain after you’re gone. thanks for the kind words. We animate all kinds of things to be equal to the people around us

      Like

  2. I’ve heard it said you can only have one great love. In this case, he chose his truck over his family.

    Oh, I couldn’t find a “Like” button for the story. You might not have that feature enabled.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll take a look. Thanks for the comment and heads up. Broken families everywhere. The regret of not getting enough attention versus keeping everything you can as long as you can to provide for others

      Like

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