Written as part of a challenge called Saturday Mix, details are available at https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/01/14/saturday-mix-january-14-2016/
There was a time I felt powerless. Life bound me like Jacob Marley’s chain. My own hand forged my paralysis. My hand searches my brain for the key. There is no Christmas goose to buy for the local cripple.
I look at my surrounds. Alien. As if dropped off here, I would ask for help. Really. This time, I need the help. We all have puzzle pieces to find a place for. I know few things. I look down the tracks. One thing is clear. It’s 2:05PM.
I’m blinded with a flash. My head hurts briefly.
The 515 reaches Oakland platform a tad late. The blood on the tracks, my only sign of me now.
Coloring Outside the Lines 
For me,when I read this, I thought the guy was a bit confused and out of it. Not paying attention to the train, as loud as it is, before it hit him. At least it’s a quick death, and didn’t sound as if life and people we’re kind to him. Great write, I like how there are many ways to interpret this.
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It’s part of my master writing plan, or being blonde…. Ok, blondes and planning don’t mix well. Thank you darling. I’m moving into a story phase I think. My poetry needs more company in characters
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Haha, sometimes it’s true unfortunately lol. A mix of both poetry and fiction is always good I think.
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I became addicted to the quicker writing of poetry.
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Yes, I get that too 🙂
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😀
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Chilling! Sounds like he killed himself on the tracks.
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I wasn’t sure if it was him or he was put there by others. I thought open end was much better
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That’s true. Someone else could have killed him.
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I saw it that way first but many loose ends leads to more choices
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Unsettling, painful & very powerful!
Some great expressions, like “My hand searches my brain for the key” – Wow! “puzzle pieces to find a place for..”, the image of “Jacob Marley’s chain.”
A Great read! Love this! Thank you! 🙂
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I often have a line with no story. Save your images for future use. The better you keep them intact the better you add to them. Unsettling is one of my favorite places to go with a story.
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🙂
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