The fog pulls back like a blanket thrown off the bed. A warm breeze leaves a row of trees out in the open. A loud rustling moves one of the oaks.
Two dark figures hang high above the road. Beneath them the daily traffic goes by without noticing.
Morgan rustles his wings. The morning chill has taken its toll. The hunting trip into the city didn’t go as planned. No little ones left unattended. Dare they hang out during the daylight. The question hands much like them high in the trees.
Opal looks back at him. “We have to catch one before we go back.”
“They don’t know we exist. I’d like to keep it that way.” Morgan didn’t like being exposed.
“Then they won’t know what to do when they see us!” Opal makes it clear who’s in charge.
Written as part of a challenge called Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers, details are available at https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2016/12/19/fffaw-challenge-week-of-december-20-2016/
I liked the opening description. Great story.
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Thank you very much. There looked like something should hide under the fog
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Great story! I like the opening description.
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Thank you very much. The photo was great leadin
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Dark and spooky, made me think of victorian cities, yet sadly things are just as bad now in many cities. I could see this as an advertising campaign to improve our cities.
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Interesting thought. We do tend to prey of each other in larger cities. We have this weird connection to the Victorian times. They have a mystical feel to them. The stories of Dracula, Frankenstein, Jack the Ripper probably set these scenes well.
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Word count or no, leaving Opal and Morgan (great names for demons or are they . . .) personae up to the reader’s imagination is good — the darker the soul, the darker the vision. I have a different idea on who they might be.
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Well, vampires are overplayed. Opals have a hidden fire and Morgana (Merlin’s I’ll fated wife) was a close second but I wanted an option on whether I bright gender into this. Darkness calls your attention quicker.
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Yes, vampires are passĆ© and way too overdone. Gender is a good option — a hunting pair makes for a nice touch. And allows for many potential plot lines should you continue with this one. Which you might well consider — lots to play with on the dark side.
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I prefer my shadows to have shadows. Don’t want then getting lonely. š Actually, dark allows more freedom to write. Characters don’t have to behave.
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And misbehaving is more fun . . . to read and write.
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All around just me fun. Structure and balance are plain boring
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Luck to escape the structure and balance in life.
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I like that you leave it up to the reader to imagine what exactly they are, leaving it a spooky mystery. Definitely they are creatures I would recommend avoiding if possible! Nicely creepy story, goes well with the foggy image.
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I really liked what hides in the fog as the story. Our minds are fantastic at making scary images. No worries about where it’s believable or not if you create it. āŗ
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Exactly! It can be even scarier if it’s a little fuzzy and it could be *anything* the reader’s fervid imagination might think up!
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I’m an old fashioned horror fan. Back when special effects weren’t good. Or the Jaws effect, where the mechanical shark didn’t work most days. That lead to more more music and more bumping by unseen shark.
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Something is hunting humans, or at least Opal has made this clear. They need one, whatever “they are.” Great scene setting and ambience!
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They are a kind of winged demon. I really was going to go further but word count
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Very neat. Love to read more about them!
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I think I’ll be doing that this week. I have a plan
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Nice line “The morning chill had taken it’s toll” very atmospheric. Sets the scene well.
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Thank you. I wanted to add to the fog lifting scene.
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Are these dark Angels? Angels of death? Chilling story, Mark! I’m glad there were no little ones left unattended!
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I was going for side kind of demon, but kept it short on words and long on imagination
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LOL! I didn’t envision demons, but I did envision dark Angels. I guess that is the same thing. Haha!
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It was easy to start up but if I kept going I was going well past 150 words. Angels have to follow an order and certain rules, demons are chaotic much more fun or terrifying
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Yes, I guess that is right. Chilling!
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I think I’ll play with this some more. No happy ending probably. Definitely dark.
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Okay. LOL!
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Child Catchers of some kind? Quite terrifying. Nice writing.
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I wasn’t sure what to make them. I could have added a bunch of words and created a beast. But thought it best to let the mind wonder about them. Thank you very much āŗ
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