https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/07/28/tale-weaver-78-july-28th-waiting/
He looks at his phone. We’re two minutes late already. The trains never run late, not two minutes. He tugs at the ball cap pulling it down a bit more. The urge to look side to side is overwhelming. Inventory of the surroundings becomes a bigger need add time goes by.
The backpack lists a bit to the right. The contains weren’t as secure add they should be. The drill isn’t going well.
“Where’s the train?” He mumbles.
“There’s a hold up down the line. It’ll be here momentarily.” An officer stares through him.
His eyes don’t meet the officers. They shift to the phone to confirm the train is still late. “It should have been here already. I’m going to be late. Are you sure it’s still coming?” He offers.
“There’s a scare. Someone called in a threat. Dark clothes, backpack, you know it takes a while to find those types.” The officer replies walking in front of him. “You know maybe like you….”
He looks at the officer. The officer’s dark eyes, cropped hair and clean cut face is tight as a drum. Displeasure his expression.
“Sir? I’m not sure what you mean.” He replies. He struggles not to breath, or breath too quickly. He feels doubt. His mission was simple.
“The backpack! Let’s see it! ID, I need that too!” The officer puts out his left hand,hid right hand tests on butt of his gun.
“I’m a currier. Here’s the backpack. My ID is in the front!” He hands off the pack and backs away.
The officer stares dead through him. Never acknowledging the backpack. He twists his head towards his shoulder. “I have suspect. I have secured the bag. Will holdfor back up.”
“It’s costing me $50. I was supposed to be at drop off at 2. They’re giving me a bonus for being early ” He talks, thinking of back up. His hands find themselves up.
“Who? Who is giving you this $50?” The officer asks smiling. He knows the answer. In his heart he feels it.
“The guy is addressed to. My boss, said the guy pays cash….all the time…$50 is big!” He replies.
“You’re going to meet someone you don’t know the name of…… and you get more money….. if you hurry…But don’t know his name?! You see why I don’t believe you.” The officer smiles still “we have you on tape. We counted down the minutes to get you. You can’t hide from us…ever!”
Is he delivering this backpack for $50?
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He gets an extra $50 to deliver what’s in the backpack by 2.
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That’s what I thought but wasn’t completely sure Great story!
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I may have tried to limit details to much. It happens when trying to build suspense some times
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It’s especially difficult when writing flash fiction.
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That’s what makes it so nice when it fits perfectly. 😀
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Yes, I agree!!
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So, is he a innocent caught in the police’s trawling for suspects, or is he a terrorist on a practice run? You’ve set the story up in such a way — a variety of possibilities exist (at least in my head).
Suspenseful.
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I left him on the border of innocence, unintended consequences, and terrorist. Nameless characters are so hard to tell. I think doubt adds to feel of story. 😉
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Definitely adds to the suspense.
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😀
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It’s good that things do not always work out as planned….like in this case! Good story! 🙂
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