PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Written as part of a challenge called Friday fictioneers, https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2016/03/16/18-march-2016/
“I’m going to college. I ain’t living in tar paper shack…workin’ some foundry job!” The words 20 years distant.
His tired calloused eyes glared. “That foundry fed you. It’s raised you and all us folk!”
“Cancer to the family. Two of your fingers. It cost us. I’m living in a real house. That foundry will close before I walk in..” my tone faded.
Out the window, the foundry stares back. It took the old man. Cancer says the doctor. Incremental parts were stripped from all of us.
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In some towns the foundry or the mill seems to dictate the terms of life. Seems like that’s what happens here.
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A million dots marked by foundry,bakery,mill,ketchup factory. That’s the US map. 😃
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bleak, true, and well-written
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Thank you. It seems like quiet places hold the best stories.
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Compelling dialog and good descriptions make for a good story. Well done.
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Thank you darling. I appreciate the kind words. 😀
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I love the ambition of the young one. Not everything that’s old deserves to be preserved, not places that kill people. Great story.
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Many stories to be had in mines, factories, and the squalid working conditions of the past some have had to endure. Well done.
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It’s a different world. Working your life away in dark, dangerous places seems harsh today. Millions saw it as a daily ritual. The favorite description I had was calloused eye. Those deep set, heavy wrinkled eyes that almost never blink.
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Dear Mark,
The voice adds a lot to the story. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you. A snippet in time works well as conversation.
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I could visualise these two so clearly – great dialogue.
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Thank you darling. It is a symptom of the generation thing. Youth and flight against reason of experience and stability. When the prodigal son returns, it’s for bad things. Or a case of Mr Blind Squirrel meat Mr Nut. 😉
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You remind us that not all that looks good is good. But the dialogue is good
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Thank you. Dialogue is an elusive thing. Reflecting seemed best way to bridge the gap between father and son.
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Love what you did here… somehow escaping to something better can never be bad… and many towns have died that way.
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Thank you. The towns become shells. Everything is on the edge. 😀
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Great depiction of the harshness of life in a foundry
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Many thanks! It’s the way jobs were and still exist in little towns
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I love the concept and what the crumbling buildings meant to the characters in different ways. One resented it and one was thankful for it in a way. I could see this turning into a great short story.
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Yes it has a lot of family history ready to spill out. I’ve been to the towns built around these places. It’s literally the life of the town. Thanks for the comment and stopping by 😀
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Fantastic voices here.
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I’ve spent a lot of time in the old mining towns of West Virginia. I’ve heard the kids working in tourist traps dying to leave. The coal mining industry has fallen off there. The tired voices start young. Thank you, thank you, thank you😀
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You’re welcome 🙂
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