Train of Pain

Photo provided by Louise at Storytellers Abode

Guide for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers

1. A prompt photo will be provided each Tuesday to be used as a base to your story. Please include photo prompt with your story.

2. Linking for this challenge begins on Tuesday and runs to the following Tuesday.

3. Please credit photo to photographer

4. The story word limit is 100 – 150 words (+ – 25 words). Please try and stay within this limit.

5. Pingback to the challenge post in your story’s post.

6. This is a flash fiction challenge (stories in 100-175 words or less) and each story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Therefore, no serial (continuation) stories. They become too complicated for our readers.

7. Add your story to the InLinkz Link-up (Blue Froggy button). If you need link-up instructions, please email me at

8. Remember, half the fun is reading and commenting on each other’s stories.

“Hell is  no place. It’s in constant motion.  The rails it rides are made of brick and mortar.  The bodies and souls of the damned line it’s tracks.  The weight of their sins born as the train of pain sails through the twilight of eternity. Do you want to bear the crushing weight?”  Reverend Samuels elevates his voice to end the sermon.

The bewildered parishioners stare back.  It’s of his own sins he speaks.   They all know the story.   His wife made them public.   The secrets of a man held to a higher standard.   Reduced to church fodder.   He stood tall.  Smile beaming as if he had no idea everyone knew.

He hurrys toward the door.  Seventy nine “My God be with you” later.   The empty church and his soul collide.   The empty building breathes in the humid air.   It’s the air that removes life and energy.  The whiff of sulphur shakes him loose from thought.

“Are you ready Mr Samuels?   You are expected promptly at 1.  Master hates to wait, please this way.” The dark man smiles and holds the door.

The grey train chugs steam into the air.   The train is leaving the station.


34 thoughts on “Train of Pain

  1. Great writing. I only wish I was good at short stories but I have tried a few times and failed. This is a great linky idea and you should link up with Debbie over at My Random Musings with her AnythingGoes linky. She loves short stories as well. Thank you for linking up and sharing with #momsterslink.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have hundreds of these little pieces. Some are really good. Others well, inspire better ones later on. Sometimes what you know is good really is, what you think you should bury someone will like or help you see it differently.


  2. This is a great short story and so chilling! I love chilling tales. I wouldn’t want to be on that train. I like your challenge. I’m not very good at short stories. I always try to write a short story but they usually end up with several chapters. LOL! In fact, the story I have on my own blog was originally supposed to be a short story but I’m four chapters in and still writing it. I will try this and see where it takes me. #momsterlink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Its a challenge I play with every week. I started as a travel blog. Then I got dark in short stories. It’s addictive. I’m not quite as dark in stories and poetry. But a good bad evil twisted character is golden. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Very well written and interesting story. My favorite line is “The weight of their sins born as the train of pain sails through the twilight of eternity” …that speaks volumes! That’s one train ride no one wants to go on! …..but, many probably do in some form or other.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow Mark, that is deep and I was expecting the ending at all. This story sure makes one think. Such a pity that he is on a train to Hell. Wonderfully written story and wonderfully told! Thank you for participating in the FFfAW challenge!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Nicely done, Mark. 🙂 Sometimes its the people who profess to be the purest who hide the deepest sins. You’ve included some great imagery – like Graham, I find the line ‘The weight of their sins born as the train of pain sails through the twilight of eternity.’ particularly appealing.

    Liked by 1 person

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