Time for Blood – Finish It #29

Finish It! #29
by authorsbmazing, https://authorsbmazing.wordpress.com/2015/08/26/finish-it-29/
Challenge is to finish story beginning with the following paragraph.

The bottle was almost empty. Just another sip. He cleaned his mouth with his sleeve. The house was still dark. He was cold. She would be home soon. And then he would show her. He would teach her a lesson. Nobody was allowed to treat him like this. He would show her! How dare she left him. For that guy! He took another sip. The bottle was empty. Maybe he would use the bottle. She had to suffer. He would take his time. Suddenly a car was pulling up. A smile on his face he pressed his body closer to the wall, hiding in the dark…

“It’s was a fantastic night!   I forgot how much fun it was.   He made me crazy.   Please wait till I’m inside.   I need to make sure.  I feel him hiding in the shadows all the time.   God, I sound crazy to you.” Leslie stops talking long enough to breath.

Door key in hand, she surveys the front yard.  Then the neighbor’s to the left, across the street, to the right.  A quick look to the roof.   She heads for the door, her pace quick.   The car door slams behind her.  It spins her around.

“I’m sorry to do this to you.   Brian, you are so patient.  Yes, it helps me.   I’ll be glad to go through this again with you.   It makes me feel so. ..  normal.  Yea, I’m almost normal again.  Ok.  I’m inside.   Lock the door, and let me check the rooms.”  Counting of the rooms behind her.

“House is clear.   You can go now.”  Laughing as she hangs up.

“That bitch! I’m going in that kitchen door.   Fuck the bottle.   Those expensive knives that I bought.   Oh honey, they are the best.   You can slice super thin.  That’s right bitch. .. I’ll slice you super thin.   My friend Brian, of all people in this shit hole world.  Maybe I’ll stop over there and say good night to him. Clever style.”

The back door was covered by a out of control juniper.  A tap on one of the nine window panels.  A harder tap.   A smash spreading glass across the floor inside.   The hand reaches in.   The knob turns.   The glass cuts it’s way into the wrist.

The door swings open.  The ghostly light in the kitchen shows the counters.   Crazy eyes search for the knives.  The bottle plunks on the counter top.   A cold hand grabs a long blade.   Reflecting moonlight dimly on its surface.

A loud sound shakes the night.   A burning sensation followed by a thud.

“Oh my God. .. Brian, I think I killed him.  He’s finally gone!   I got to call police now.”

11 thoughts on “Time for Blood – Finish It #29

  1. I like your descriptions. I need to work on making my venues more visible. I think I am great with pacing and emotion but coloring the environment, I don’t even think about it until I read other people’s stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m coloring the background and adding characters and action. I’m visual person, so it makes sense. It comes across as detail. I read a lot of others to collect the point of view. I’m still learning dialog is best thrown against the wall to see what sticks after four or five reads.

      Liked by 1 person

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