Mark gets a Woodchipper


First, this is a woodchipper.  Sticks and branches go in the hopper. Mulch drops out the front.   Along the way, a handful of blades turn chewing them to bits. Now, there’s a few people wondering what all could this gas powered machine shred?

Unfortunately, the craftsman brand was thinking 2 1/2 inch sticks (10 cm to the rest of the world). But a landscaper’s version as seen in the movies/tv shows could do a number on soft tissue and bones.

Story line coming soon!

This is aimless rambling.  Based on buying of the web, second hand.   So the wife looks on “it’s got to go” (I think, I should listen) for $200, must sell moving follows the price.   We have lots of trees.  So she offers a $100, then asks “do we need one of these? “.

A short twenty minute google maps ride later (45 minutes without traffic and using roads on the same directions).  We arrive in a borrowed SUV.  The nice man named Louis waits for his dogs to scratch their way through a screen door.  Once they are free to run through the couple acres that makes up his front yard.  The mutts could careless about the strange visitors.  Guard dogs definitely.

Now, I’m getting a deal because the woman with the ad is moving on Thursday.  Louis ego has one working arm (shoulder surgery) tries to start said woodchipper.  It doesn’t work.   It sounds like it will.   Having two working arms, I offer.   But no, he’ll do it.  We’re the same age. I’m very young looking, he’s aged kinda tough.  He gets it started.  

Now we need a stick.  Louis, quickly bring worked into a character, produces a pair of titanium side loppers.   Kind of two long wooden handles with a curved blade and a curved finger long hook to hold branch while cutting.   We discuss the price of such looters and he tells me they are no good.   Three tries at cutting a twig shows that are junk.   He explains over there is where the pole barn is being built.   His women is moving in two days. I check the woodchipper for blood.

I ask about why he would take out an apple orchard to put up pole barn.  He leads me to grape congress loaded with, well, grapes.   He doesn’t eat fruit.


I’m happily collecting my grapes and worshipper.  Leaving before seeing the foundation for pole barn that may or not have body parts run through my second hand woodchipper.  My wife is standing in the same place as when we got there.   She now has a dog with her.  

We leave and she says ” I didn’t think we would actually buy it.   I should have offered $75 instead. ”

Next day when I have nothing to write…


Mark plays with axe!

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