The plague. Its gone now. The scars remain. The carriers stayed in the shadows.
Terminal Six, western edge of the city. Rising glass fronts to capture the rapture of the setting sun. The upland range reaching to pull the sun down into a bed of darkness. The stars coming out to witness the day’s end.
If it was just the plague.
The International Terminal was the showcase of the West. Its 25,000 people a day, was a small city pushing in and out the doors. Eventually there would be stowaways. The brown ones. Why would anyone bring them along?
The baggage area. Hundreds of bags. A small tear in a suitcase, an escape. The fleas come first. Submerged in the carpet. A traveler feeds their need. The bacteria festers. In a week, the respiratory conditions meets a high fever. The dozen infected across the country are the first warning. Retracing the lines back takes time. The third dozen, brings black legs as Septicemic Plague announces its presence. A drop in the travel bucket. It’s been the weeks.
Center for Disease Control doesn’t see the plague often. In a month, across the country never. The travel. They all traveled. Their stop was the same. But an airport is a large place for a flea. Or the rats, they came in on.
It would have been fine. Quick treatment. Isolate the area. But what happens when the rats stay in the duct work?
in case you’re interested in some stimuli… http://www.camp30.ca/
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I’ll be glad to look at them. Thanks darling
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I’ve photographed some pretty sinister feeling abandoned buildings. One in particular, an abandoned boys school that was used as a Nazi pow camp during WWII called Camp 30… the people and activities are all so conspicuous in their absence that you don’t just walk through a ghost here or there… you walk through a sea of them. Loved this little story. I agree, it has the makings of a great short.
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I’m building a canary for this coal mine. There’s quite abit to build a disease story and the make it work . The Nazi camp would be being Erie. I’ve been to a couple places of ritual killings or military battles. I’m not the ghost whisperer type, but those people left behind a bad heavy feeling. Not a someone is watching as much as a the overwhelming presence
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Yes… at camp 30 I don’t feel fear, I just feel overwhelming sadness.
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Hmm. I guess the conditions weren’t as bad as most POW camps. I didn’t know they shipped then over to Canada. Interesting. Thanks darling
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Yeah… they had life pretty good.
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Johnson’s island near Sandusky was a civil war camp were the Confederates froze from exposure, they had ramped diseases and straved them.
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My grandfather spent time in a POW camp in Texas. It wasn’t a horrible existence for him either. But still… many years away from family takes it’s toll. He survived the war, returned home, and died of pneumonia.
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That’s sad. Mine spent his service years in Italy. He was lucky from what others have told me. Never saw much.
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Darling if you get a chance. I need a critical look at some thing. Does dialogue and characters work? https://any1mark66.wordpress.com/2015/08/25/1wbga1/
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Will have a boo 🙂
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Thanks darling I appreciate it:-D
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So yes, it works. I really like it. And I liked hanging on getting the answers from Matt. In this instance I think the characters needed to be heard to understand their urgency and to get a feel for who they are. I suppose it can be more difficult to add speech, but it gives them more dimension… in this case for sure. Loved it… as you say it’s gold. 🙂
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There’s a weird balance. I think I can add more but are pieces better than long reflecting speech. I’m looking eight to ten chapters this size. Thanks I’m glad it cane across well. I appreciate you looking it over. 😉
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I’m far from the authority. But I think you got the balance and the rhythm perfect. I think that would have to change only depending on the situation. Just like dynamics in music… it affects the personality/motif of the chapter.
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Ok. I’ll play with the characters. I’ll do another chapter and come back to it
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I agree it has the makings of a very good short story Mark, well done, and you made me feel the squirm value of the situation.
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Oh no, its such a terrifying picture. Imagine traveling with children, its a horror. Nicely written as always
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There’s another disease coming. I’m traveling in four weeks, just thinking of what of angle. Traveling with kids would make this worse. The uncertain of hearing about an infection after you travelled through its where my mind wanted to be
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Not a good scene I would want to witness. .
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No but from a writing point of view it’s gold
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True, As dark as it gets no?
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Perfectly dark😀
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Oh, scary. I read recently that there has been several people sick with the plague from visiting at Yellowstone – fleas on squirrels.
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Timely scares make great writing prompts. I thought putting it in airport would add a scare factor. But what I’m throwing in an extra disease for part two!
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Nice work!
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Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m adding another couple pieces to it. I hope to make a short story of it
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Good idea!
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