To be a writer…..

“While experts and tourism promoters always urge calm and statisticians go on about how we are more likely to be attacked by a cow than a shark, that is small comfort for those swimming in the ocean rather than hanging around a farm.”  June 29, Washington Post story by Will Greenberg about shark attacks.

Now I am afraid on land too.  I’m especially fearful of the Chik-A-Fil signs, what are they really doing on those billboards?  Obviously, cow attacks go under reported here.  Animal Planet has subcome to pressure from the diary industry.  Otherwise, this would be Cow Week instead!

After three days in the ocean, I can’t even find a kid with a styrofoam fin!  Seriously, coming from Washington Post.  I’m thinking cover up.  I’ll be submitting a story about cow attacks soon.  I just need to find the Mid Atlantic Cow Regional Data Service.  Hey, the Sharks have one.  Cows are more dangerous.  The writer tells me so……
Is Cows of Death too strong of a title?

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8 thoughts on “To be a writer…..

  1. Ey, you can write a story simply narrating random events of people being killed by cows but written in such a way that an easily paranoid reader would get convinced it’s all connected somehow. Call it Dead Meat for a title that at first glance seems a perfect fit but under closer scrutiny turns out to make no sense at all…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Set in Loris, SC because no one ever heard of it. But I was thinking mad cow disease is so 2005. I’ll maul this over, I like the title… Wait random events catering to paranoid people…that’s how I got these people to read my stories already…back to the cows I’m thinking traditional brown cows. Bitten by vampire bats, escaped from Ripley’s Believe It or Not museum at the beach… You’ll be in on the movie deal

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That doesn’t sound to pleasing. What is the cow story anyway? I’ll look forward to read it. Since you are looking for sharks, have you thought of your moves if you see one?;)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I saw a story about shark attacks. The guy writing the story quoted statistics showing cows are more dangerous than sharks. Enter dark twisted mind, renegade cows attacking people! Small town and I mixed an ad campaign run by a fast food chicken place that shows cows with signs says “eat mor chicken” if I see one I’ll push someone else toward the shark and swim like hell away. I’m having internet issues so sorry if this came twice

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks. Smells box office gold from afar. Then, for the inevitable sequel I’m thinking … the exact same thing but with goats. And also a more obvious comedic touch to it. Dead Meat 2: Just Kidding

        Like

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